


you gave me the key {YOU LOCKED EVERY LOCK}

by inkwellveins (redlipstickkisses)



Series: Let's Keep This Low-Key [1]
Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan, Norse Religion & Lore, Original Work, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Norse Religion & Lore, Assassins & Hitmen, Bad Jokes, Con Artists, Demigods, F/F, F/M, Gender Is A Lie, Helena is Hel's mortal name, I Pretend To Know Things, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I have lots of feelings about interfaith demigods okay, Interfaith, Liberal use of danish, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Has Issues, Multi, One Big Happy Family, POV First Person, Pagan Gods, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Warning: Loki, What The Fuck Is Gender Even, being multiple places at once, but like low key, but more like tipsy, for such a fucked up family they seem well ajusted, this was supposed to be holiday fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9076996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipstickkisses/pseuds/inkwellveins
Summary: A Trickster, a Demigod and a Christian walk into a prison to break out an Assassin and Death. Unfortunately this is not a joke.This is my Wednesday.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys listen up! I have lots of feelings about interfaith relationships both romantic and platonic. I also have lots of feelings about gender identity. True most of it boils down to dafuqk is dis? but anyway, have 2k of projection. Like I said in the tags this was supposed to be holiday fluffy with lots of antics with the fam? We were supposed to actually meet Dad and the Aunt's? And possibly Stedmor Sigyn? and it ended up as this? 
> 
> Finally translations:  
> Mor- Mom  
> Min skat- my darling  
> Stedmor- Stepmom/Stepmother
> 
> The title is from RIP 2 My Youth which I listened to on repeat while writing this. It is also an attempt at being clever.

“Okay but the one thing I don’t get is, Dad is Christen. Like super Christen. How did you guy’s ever, yah know.”  I gestured helplessly because I was curious, fight me, but the last thing I wanted to hear about was _my parent’s_ **_having sex_ ** .  Mor’s smile was as sly and as _evil_  as ever and I groaned because _oh boy here it comes._

 

“Why min skat, you should know by now that you father is anything but prejudiced, but at any rate, when a man and a god are attracted to each other,”

 

“Oh my god, forget I said anything!” I cried as I hide my head in my hands. Mor laughed.

 

“Now, now, your Dad may not be pagan, but his twin is. Very, very Pagan at that.” Mor’s grin was wicked. “Your sister is quite fond of her.”

 

I groaned, “So you and Dad met because Aunt Helena couldn't keep it in her pants, and Aunt Aeron is _really_ trigger happy.” Yes, my sister is my aunt. I try not to think about it too much; mythology is confusing like that. Honestly ignoring it is  much easier for everyone involved.

 

“ Yup.” Mor _made sure_ to pop the “P” on the end.  I groaned again, I feel like I do that a lot. Though to be fair my immediate family does consists of a pagan assassin, a christian conman and two Norse gods. I also happened to be in the process of breaking two of those family members out of jail.

 

Guess which ones.

 

Hint: It wasn't the Christian or the infamous troublemaker of a Trickster, because _someone_ got themselves **_arrested_ ** and then _someone_ went back for them.

 

Seriously, guys Don't Get Caught  is like the first and only rule of this family.

 

I love my aunts but sometimes I wondered at what cost. The myths never mention how big of a sap Hel is. Honestly, they are sickening. I'm surprised I have any teeth left and when they get Dad and Mor going: well it's a miracle I haven't been diagnosed with diabetes yet.

 

Mor winced.

 

You know, Norse Mythology,  mythology in general is pretty damn brutal. It gets even more disturbing when you find out it's real. I'll be the first one to line up to tell you that my mother is an asshole and probably deserves any and all retribution but... until Judgment Day is a _really_ long time.

 

“Stedmor?”   I asked and I'm very proud of the fact of my concern only showed in the way my eyebrows creased.  Los Angeles was probably having another earthquake as we spoke; yah gotta love fault lines. Mor’s expression was flattened into a frightening blankness.  There was fire in their eyes. For a moment I was looking at Loki; not my Mor.  I was looking at the personification of Chaos and Discord. I was looking at the face of a god.

  
“No.” Their voice was harder than I've ever heard and I felt some deeply buried survival instinct try to claw its way to the surface. “You're brother is awake.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I live off of positive feed back. My entire existence depends on validation.


End file.
